Author: Dr. Bearmoo

Journal Entry – 04132018

Journal Entry – 04132018

I’ve been making a lot of interesting choices in my life, but they have been positive. I’ve been been taking a medication called terbinfine for my nails, it basically helps removes the fungus that is deep within some of my nails. I’m happy with the results as I have tried different home remedies like dipping my feet in bath salt or use tea tree oil, but I do notice that it only goes so far as it deals with the fungus on the top layer of your skin. There is some concerns when taking the medicane as it can affect how your liver works. I have to get the liver tested on regular bases. I’m hopping in the next month or so, my nails will be completely clear.

I recently got potato and new cat tree. At first, she seemed not interested in it what so ever. As time goes on, at first she would hide on the very bottom the tree, then she moved to the first floor of the tree, where I notice she likes eating the plastic leaves.

Journal Entry – 01282018

Journal Entry – 01282018

The main property

I went to the Land of Medicine Buddha in the mountains of Santa Cruz in December 10th. I plan this a while ago, to relax, slow down, clear/refocus my mind, and get away from civilization for a change. It’s really nice as I got a Yurt, breakfast, and lunch. I guess you can say in glam-ping! I got here on Sunday. I walked around the main part of the property and I saw they have a sauna, hot tub, and pool. There are Buddha status throughout the property and I notice on that they are on the side of the trail along with wind chimes which was quite relaxing. On the top of the mountain, There is a template, that is very spacious with a very large Buddha statue in the middle of the building at the top of the mountain.

I hiked a few of the different trails on the property. I hiked to the other side of the property to get to the other Yurts.. I looked around and it looked vacant. I found out later, that they were unavailable during the winter expect for yurt 8. There is a heater and a bed warmer which help me sleep though the cold night. Although I had a few nights were a small animal was breaking into my Yurt and eating my food that I had. Later on, I found out that it was a skunk that was breaking into my Yurt. I’m just glad I did not get spread on! Near the Yurt there is a bathroom with a shower. It was not too bad as it provided enough for me to brush my teeth and a hot shower when I need to.

The trails where nice. I spend a good amount of time hiking up and down the mountain and exploring. The trails can really give you a good workout. But, I think it was worth it. Breathing in the fresh air, feeling breeze go though you, feeling the ground beneath you, and hearing the different sounds from the forest. I did notice that there is a mountain lion in the area. I notice the lion growling at me as I was walk though a trail. I did not even see it, but I did hear it.

I Remembered Stef telling me that she lived in Santa Cruz and offered to show me around. I took her up on her offer and we were off! We went to the warf and saw Sea otters, we went to the beach, and gone to downtown Santa Cruz. In addition, also Stef recommended a few places as well.Gayle’s Bakery & Rosticceria is a place where you can get sandwiches and already made meals. Mission St BBQ serves BBQ which is pretty good! And, Betty Burgers is pretty good as well!

I did some meditation, Qi Gong, thinking, and Dharma Program about illusion. The programs were fun and interesting to part take in. The monks were pleasant to talk to and helpful. It definitively gave me something to think about more about the teachings of Buddha. In addition, brought my cello with me and started to work on the next piece Ave Maria by Franz Schubert. Which I’m glad I brought it, being able to play in a different setting such as a forest was quite nice to do.

Journal Entry – 10242017

Journal Entry – 10242017

At work, My company is moving to a new building. I do not mind the company moving, but the fact that the company is moving to a location where it does not have easy access to public transportation. I’m not thrilled about it, as I’m trying to depend less on my car and more on the public transportation for me to get to work. I have thought of move to another company, like another startup that’s closer to home and where I can still take public transportation. But, I will hold off for the time being and see how I feel about the new location and how it works for me.

I met a new group of friends though meetup. I met them though the Grand Hot Pot Lounge in San Francisco. Where we kinda of hit off. I met Ah. She walked us though on what to do at the table, how long does each meat cook for, how long does each vegetable cook for, etc. Then There is Steph. Her and I talked a wide range of topics and towards the end of the night we started to be friends. I asked for her phone so that we can hangout together and talk some more! I all so met Will, Mar, Cat, and Mar. At the restaurant we sing karaoke and I got to sing Party like it’s 1999. I realized I’m a bit rusty and I do not think I did much justice for the song, but I had fun singing it.

I decided to try Irish dancing this month. In Downtown Sunnyvale at Lilly Mac’s Irish Pub. There was a four-day dance lesson into Irish dancing. The instructor walked us though the fundamentals of Irish set dance, from basic footwork to the essential group patterns, all the way through dancing a complete set with your classmates! It challenging at first as I do not do a lot of dancing in my life. Once I got the basics down, it became easier as time goes on. The class was structure so that the inexperienced can dance as well. The songs that were played for the dances, I think they were traditional Irish songs which some of the songs were really fast and hard to keep up. I really enjoyed it, and I notice that they offer a Tuesday night dance lessons as well, and I thinking that I will do that as well!

 

Journal Entry – 1082017

Journal Entry – 1082017

I came across with old friends that I have not seen in a long time. The first person is Mo. I first met her in high school. We would take the bus together. For a long time we were really close friends, but gradually we grow a part as our lives changed. I came across an old massages from her that’s buried in Facebook messaging. I decided to message her and say hi. We talked about what is going on with our lives, and anything interesting that we did recently. I’m Hopping that Mo and I can stay in-touch and rekindle that friendship that we once had. Another person I came across is Meet D. He and I met though a meetup in the geek club south bay. Where the first time I met him is though a mini golfing event. I saw him last week at a board game event at Isle of Gamers and we talked about up’s going on with our lives and some of the games that were available. I was hopping that someone would bring the game Secret Hitler as it was a fun game. But, I got to play 7 Wonders with friendly people and that I came in third place! I went to Oktoberfest that was in my town. It was a lot of fun and the Sausages and beer were really good! I realized after a days later, a girl I met on the meetup event was flirting with me. I did not realize it at first. Initially, she sat across from me, then half way though the event, she came to next to me, talk to me, and when there was a song she wanted to dance, she would grab my hand to dance with her. It was flattering, but nothing become out of it. I also made a new friend at the event as well and I added him to my Facebook friends.

Recently, there has been a lot of racism, misogyny, and hate on the media. I was surprise to hear the same insane right-wing talking points that were not just from my country, but from other countries like Canada, UK, or Ireland and how there views where hateful and hurtful towards groups of people. I do not agree at all with their ideas and to some extent I feel that some of(if not all) of their talking points ought be censored as it seems to encourages violence. For example, I remember hearing that Gays, lesbians, LGBT, etc.. should be put into concentration camps. Or that, woman should not have the same rights as men or hold a political office. That’s insane! It really saddens and upsets me to know that there are people who think it’s a good idea to treat people in such a hurtful way. Personally I have a wonderful brother who is gay and wonderful girls in my life(my mom, female friends, etc..) that I adore. I still hope that humanity will take shape like in Star Trek, where people got along with kindness and understanding and enrich themselves not though wealth and greed, but though experience and knowledge.

I have started to clean the house; It’s a slow progress, but things are starting to look better now. There are still issues that I still need to tackle. For example, dusting, getting ride of old stuff that I do not use anymore, and getting the carpet shampoo. I’m starting to feel better about the house as it’s starting to look better now. I have started to exercise more often now. I am starting to walk an hour a day and all though it’s not consistent at what time I do walk, it feel like it has been helpful so far.

 

Forest Bathing Adventure.

Forest Bathing Adventure.

Source:
https://static.pexels.com/photos/167699/pexels-photo-167699.jpeg

I tried Shinin-Yoku (Forest Bathing) event from meetup, And yes, I’ve gone to techie to tree hugging hippie (Yay!). But, it was a very positive and surreal experience for me. I met the organizer and participant who sign up for the event. One of the first things we did was turn off our electronic devices or any other distractions. Then we passed around eucalyptus oil and tea tree oil to smell; which smells fantastic! We did a mindful meditation while standing up for a few minutes. This is to awaking the five senses so that we can be fully present in the experience. After the mediation, we spend fifteen minutes of just wandering aimlessly down the trail, allowing our selves to just wander towards anything that would be of interest. I went towards fallen trees, leaves, and to the edge of cliffs to look out in the distance to view the entire forest. Next, we stopped and instructed to find a partner and talk about our first time of connecting with nature. For me, It was a time when I was in the Philippines and I was at a beach. The sand was warm and bright. The ocean was so clear that I can see the bottom. You see the fishes and Sting Ray’s swim around your feet. The wind from the ocean passing though your body feels refreshing and cool. We journey into the heart of the forest, where it was a flat open area, we were where surrounded by tall Redwood trees and next to those trees was a dry river bed. We were giving some corn meal and find a spot to make an offering and to say thank you. We all gather around a circle and eat home-made Blue Berry Cheese Cake which was awesome! We talked about the home-made Blue Berry Cheese Cake, what our spirit animal is, about being in a state of rest and digest, and about the next event. After words, we headed about to the starting point where we mediate once more before heading into our busy city life.

That it felt really good to be in-touch with nature. To hear the birds near by, to feel the refreshing wind on my face, or ground below my feet. Talking to people to about nature and experiencing with all five senses was very eye-opening for me. It gave me a different perspective of mediation and where instead of setting on a coach and listen to some guy or girl walking though the mediation process, that you can meditate in a forest. Where you allow you let your self go to wonder aimlessly, and be mindful of your surroundings, and to listen with your five senses.

Meetup Link

Journal Entry – 09152017

Journal Entry – 09152017

I’m sitting on the train on my way home thinking of what has happen since the last entry and how I got to this point where I am unhappy in general of my life. I know the parts of me feel broken inside, but I’m not exactly sure when it broke inside me, but I think it happen towards the end of my trip to Ireland. After coming back, I realized how unhappy and I need reboot(“kinda of like Flash Point, but more to do with me.”) in my life.

I think about what made me unhappy and the first thing that comes up is it started earlier in the year with my hearing. earlier this year I had a really bad fever to where it had effected my hearing. After going in an out for tests, I have been diagnose with Meniere’s disease. Mainly right now effects my right ear, But what does it mean to Meniere’s disease? I am learning that it affects me very personally and emotionally to the point of where I feel left out, alone, and that sometimes I want to withdraw myself from social settings. Granted it made me appreciate my ability to hear and made me focus on stuff that matter most me that in involves my hearing, the negative effects I’m struggling to deal with today. Several months ago I went out to a meetup event at a brewery on San Carlos. The brewery called Devil Canyon Brewing Company. It was fun, alive, and the beer was great! I got to met people in the group and share stories with them. In some cases I was not able to hear a person speak, because it was ether too loud, or they spoke to softly for me to hear. With is sad, because I felt like there was some lost opportunity to connect with someone or when someone tells a joke and everyone is laughing and I am not because I could not understand they said.

I feel that the house is a reflection of me. I looked around the home and I would feel sad at the fact that the place was dirty, unorganized, and stuff just piled up and even feel closterfobic at times. I remember when lived in SJ, my place was clean, neat, and organized. I felt happy and proud of myself because it felt that I was talking care of myself. I do realize now that I need to make my self a priority and give myself care and love. In addition, I do need to put myself first and take of my needs and wants. Although, maybe if I get into another relationship in the future, I hope to be someone’s number one as well.

To be continued……..

Journal Entry – 08262017

Journal Entry – 08262017

For this whole week, I was in Ireland, it was an interesting vacation. I had a lot of fun, meet new people and saw wondrous things that Ireland had to offer during my stay there. Our vacation started on Sunday August 20th. Cass and I made it to the airport and we got to check out the Delta business lounge.

It was morning, and I got my self a beer. Ballistic IPA.

Picture of the bar area. On the left is Cass.

It was nice, it was quite, and offer some items of food that you can eat. For example, fruit, bread, and cereal. They even offered a full bar were you can get your drinks. After spending some time in the lounge, we left as our time to board our plane for our first leg to Ireland which was from SFO to JFK. We were served lunch which was good and we got free drinks and amenities from our flight on Delta. Once we got to JFK, we had to get to our flight within ten minutes. luckily, it was only few gates away from us to the flights to JFK to DUB.

We got into Dublin airport around the afternoon, and we had a disagreement between her and I about transportation that we will need to get around the city. I had bought two bus passes so that we can go from the airport to the city center and back. In addition, wanted to buy a visitor card so that we can leverage the public transportation system and not spend so much on money. I manage to convince her that we already had the passes for the bus and we windup skipping getting the leap card. Understand that she stressing out, on trying to get to our destination and I was like that as well. We sat at the bar, waiting for our room to be ready, relax, while drinking beer and having a great time. Later on that evening we tried to sleep, but the jet lag was affecting us, so we did not get very much sleep at all.

So Tuesday came around and it was Cass and I Connemara & Galway Bay Tour. We got on the train for a two hours train ride. It was nice train ride as we got see the beautiful landscape across Ireland. The train, even offered food and beverage on board as well!

Kylemore Abbey. Lovely Castle!

A small but nice town in Galway.

A muscle farm!

Next the Kylemore Abbey Castle, There is a garden that was taken care of by nuns. The garden was amazing.

For dinner, Cas and I went to a bar called Garveys Inn. I remember ordering Fish ‘n Chips, and it was amazing! The food taste fresh, it was crunchy and the fish sticks them selves were huge! It’s definitely one of my top favorite. Although on the way back our train got delayed for an hour. But, it was nice as they compensate us with free food and drinks. Also, our tour tour guide gave us shot of Whiskey(Awesome!)

So Wednesday rolled around and our Guinness and Whiskey tour got moved to Friday. Later that evening Cas and I head down to Bray to meet her friend. Let’s call her L. On the way to Bray we took a train, which by the way the train broke down on us again. The last car was smoking and had to get off the train and wait for another one. I did see sparks coming from the bottom of the last car as it was smoking again. We finally got to meet L and we were hanging out at her place. She a lovely and passionate girl who is fascinating to talk to. L made curry with rice and it was delicious. We talked and drank wine and enjoying the conversation we were having. I wind up drinking way too much to the point were Cass and I were plaster. Cass and I spend the night at L place were the floor was well nice a comfy. When I woke up, man!, I was fubar(My acronym: Fucked Up Beyond all remembering)! So Cass and I stayed in our hotel recovering. I felt really bad for Cass as she had to watch over me, explicitly since it meant with had to miss one of our tours. 🙁 We did how ever got to see the Dublin Castle and learn about the history of the Castle as well!

What Dublin Castle looked like, Awesome!

The Church inside of the Castle, along the walls are royal coat of arms that ruled Ireland.

The group of men on the wall, are people who rebel against Britain.

St. Patrick’s Hall.

Ceiling paintings at St Patrick’s Hall

Friday has can around, and Cass and I went to the Whiskey and Guinness Tour. It was fun! Cass and I tried different whiskey and we find that we liked Powers and Tullamore Dew. We learned about the history of whiskey and I leaned that Uisce Beatha means the water of life! After words, we headed to the Guinness Brewery. I got to drink Their IPA version, and Stout!

The 9000 year lease the Guinness Signed.

 

Viking Artifacts found in Dublin!

This the first place where Handel first played the Messiah.

This is where part of the Viking Wall used to stand.

Guinness 360 degree room!

After the tour, we went to a fancy restaurant called Boxie. The food the place serve was really good!

The corn beef was awsome!

 

Desert.

Journal Entry – 07232016

Journal Entry – 07232016

So Potato, seems like she is starting to become more comfortable in her new home. She is now exploring more of the home and even gone into the bed room where Cassie and I sleep. Although she has tried to jump on the window ledge only to cause the vertical blinds to make noises which in turn woke me up. When she saw me awake, she ran back to her hiding space on the couch. She is warming up to me where she has come up to me and wanted attention from me.

I am still listening professional cellists play. In addition, and still working on my E Major Scale. It’s getting a little easier every time I play and expectantly trying to remember the figure placement. I have started learning the Hunter’s Chorus, C. Schroeder, Op 31, No. 5.

I finally got my car back from the repair shop and it looks good now! I have not drove it a lot lately as I have been using Caltrain, but I will report on it next week. Also, The rental that I got while my car is in the shop, has gotten into an accident on Sunday. It looks like my neighbor side swiped it with here car and cause some paint exchanged. I was not exactly mad at my neighbor as in more disappointed in the fact that she has not come forth about it and owned up to it. A few days later I did cross paths with her and we just exchange “Hello”. Yes, I wanted to talk to her about it, and in the process I would have gotten upside, but I just dropped it and let it be. Her actions alone (ie, not telling me she hit my car, not leaving a note, nor not notifying the insurance company) already told me everything. I return the rental, file the paper work, and notify my insurance company.

Next weekend, Cassie and I are going to Monterey for the weekend! I am hopping that weather is good on the weekend. I was thinking maybe we can go whale watching. Also, I want to take her to the Old Fisherman’s Grotto. They have great Clam Chowder and Ghirardelli Chocolate Shop in Monterrey as well! More info to come!

Creating Self-Signed Certs on Apache 2.2

Creating Self-Signed Certs on Apache 2.2

This page will walk though the process of creating a secure Self_Signed Certificate for Apache2. In order to get started you will need to make sure that OpenSSL is installed. If it is not install, refer to the site: http://www.openssl.org on how to install the software.

===== Getting Started =====

Need to generate a key. So will enter the fallowing command:


openssl genrsa -des3 -out newca.key 4096

After awhile it will prompt you to enter the fallowing information:

Country Name (2 letter code) [AU]:
State or Province Name (full name) [Some-State]:
Locality Name (eg, city) []:
Organization Name (eg, company) [Internet Widgits Pty Ltd]:
Organizational Unit Name (eg, section) []:
Common Name (eg, YOUR name) []:
Email Address []:


Create a certificate and sign it. This example certificate will last 365 days:
openssl req -new -key newca.key -out newca.csr
openssl x509 -req -days 365 -in newca.csr -signkey newca.key -out newca.crt

===== Getting around Apache prompt =====

If the cert is protected with a password, by default Apache will prompt for the password when it starts. This can be a problem since you will need to enter the password each time Apache is restarted. We can fix this by having Apache call a program that gives the password to Apache. Will create a script in /etc/apache2/ssl name password.sh. Then add the fallowing into the script:

^ /etc/apache2/ssl/password.sh ^
| #!/bin/bash |
| echo ‘password’; |

Change the password to something better. For example: idon7kn0w or ugh1d0ntl1kepassw0rd5

In you Apache config files edit where the SSLPassPhraseDialog is at and add exec:/etc/apache/ssl/password.sh

^ /etc/apache2/modules.d/40_mod_ssl.conf ^
| exec:/etc/apache/ssl/password.sh |
| |


SSLPassPhraseDialog exec:/etc/apache2/ssl/password.sh

Now the needs to be executable:

chmod a+x /etc/apache2/ssl/password.sh

If the SSLPassPhraseDialog does not work, Then you will need to generate and key and cert that will not prompt for a password. To do that enter the fallowing commands and copy the key into your apache ssl folder.


openssl rsa -in newca.key -out newca.key.insecure
mv newca.key newca.key.secure
mv newca.key.insecure newca.key

Source: http://www.tc.umn.edu/~brams006/selfsign.html

Journal Entry – 07092016

Journal Entry – 07092016

I have now replace dokuwiki with wordpress, and so far I am happier with wordpress than with dokuwiki. I feel that it makes it easier for me to focus on what matters more than spending time trying to fiddle with a bunch of stuff and not really accomplishing alot. Ansible is coming along slowly and I will update my progress on the Ansible post. I have already started thinking about moving my mail system from postfix/devcot -> postfix/dbmail.

On the cello front, I found a new youtube channel Sarah Joy Music Tutorials/Music Videos some of the tutorials she posts very helpful to me. For example, the stretching exercise she has posted on her site or Five practicing mistakes. On Suzuki Book #2 Minuet #3 I have been practicing that for two months now, and I feels like I am getting better with it. It definitely a challenging piece along with the pieces that my teacher, Mr. Ma, has me working on as well. But, I feel good about. Although, I am thinking of posting some of my playing on youtube and sharing with my friends!

I met with my Jessica this week for our session. Most of the time during our session we talk about my journal and what does it mean to me, what is the goal of it, and what do I expect to get out of it. The goal is to understand why do I overreact to curtain issues, to help me understand about it and how to deal with it, and what I want to get out of it to be a better person. We have mention that we may need to change the focus from Relationship coach to psychotherapy. I felt that at first I did not need it, that I am ok without it. But, now thinking about, I guess maybe I should venture into it deeper to see if I can have a healthier relationship with my self. In addition, try to deal or come to terms with the unstructured parts of my life or events in my life. I guess time will only tell to see how this will work out for me.

So, Cassie and I decided to expand our family and now where adopting a cat. Her name is potato.

Female Siamese Brown 2 years old
Female, Siamese, Brown, 2 years old

I am still a little apprehensive about potato, but excited to adapt! I have talk to my friends about adopting a cat they give me a few advice here and there. More news to come!

I got play Magic night with Ian, Adrian, and Jim! It was a great time playing with them, although I have to admit, I was getting murdered in the game as I could not keep a creature in play for more than two turns. But, in the end, it really did not matter if I win or lose, spending time with my friends or my girlfriend Cassie means a lot more! I also, schedule a romantic evening with Cassie on the 15th of this month at the McCormick and Schmicks restaurant in San Jose. I’m excited about it and it’s been a long time since we have one.

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